Leash Courtesy

My boyfriend and I were hanging out on a patio at a brewery when a guy let his dog off-leash in the sitting area.

Which would be fine.. except our dog wasn’t happy with the other dog incessantly harassing her and was starting to get surly with the other dog. She’s never bitten another dog, but he was not listening to her body language. We decided to intervene, because we’re responsible dog owners.

We politely asked jerk-who-doesn’t-actually-care-about-what-happens-to-his-dog to please leash his puppy. The leash was on his table.

IMG_6279
Off-leash. Because she’s at home. No other doggos.

Jerk got REALLY upset about it.

How dare we politely ask him to leash his dog?

Him: “If your dog is crazy, she shouldn’t be out!”

Us: “Um, no dude. Our dog has been attacked by three dogs, two of whom were ‘nice’ off-leash dogs according to their owners. She’s older and just doesn’t like being bothered by younger dogs. Also, we don’t want yours to ever get hurt by another dog, so you should have your dog on a leash so that if that does happen, you can rescue him faster.”

Him: “YOUR DOG IS VICIOUS.”

Us: “No, she’s very nice and well-behaved as you can see from the way she’s hanging out mellowly behind us, she just doesn’t want another dog in her space.”

Him: “KEEP YOUR CRAZY DOG AWAY FROM MINE!”

Me: “Obviously you’re not understanding what we’re saying, so let me demonstrate.” *moves to sit at his table* “Are you enjoying this? Is this fun for you? Do you like me in your space?”

Him: “I mean.. uh… I’m fine with it.”

Me: “Cool, then I’m just going to sit here and bother you. Are you still enjoying this? Are you entertained? How about if I keep asking you questions, the same way your dog keeps sniffing at ours?”

Him: *makes some comment to my gentleman friend about how he should keep me on the leash or something equally sexist*

Us: “That is incredibly sexist, and also not the point. Put your dog on a leash; you’re technically breaking the law.”

Him: “I’m a lawyer!”

Us: “Oh, okay, let’s pull up Tennessee’s law and see what it has to say about dogs off-leash in public.”

I get up to get my computer, pull up the law, and start walking toward him with the .Gov website pulled up.

Him: “No, stop, go away!”

Us: “Well which is it? Do you want to know what the law says about this, or not?”

Him: “YOUR DOG IS VICIOUS.”

Us: “This is common courtesy. All dog owners should know this. Put your dog on a leash, especially if asked.”

Him: “I guess I’m just deficient in common courtesy.”

Me: “Which is astounding, because this is the south and you’d think courtesy was your second language.”

Him: “Just keep your dog away from mine.”

Us: “We will do so easily, because she’s on a leash.

So we sit there, working while they keep talking, and eventually my gentleman friend decided to write him a note of apology, explaining ending with “You’re lucky this time. Our dog is sweet. For your dog’s sake, may your luck never run out.”

And then we bought their beer as a gesture of good will (and to make a lasting impact, damn it), and left.

Good. God.

May the odds be ever in his dog’s favor. Poor puppers.

Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese Wraps

Smoked salmon and cream cheese has to be one of the most iconic breakfast/brunch combinations. The flavors of punchy smoked salmon and delicate cream cheese match perfectly with the sharp onion…

Make it
10 minutes
Ingredients
∙ Serves 1

Seafood
2 oz Smoked salmon

Produce
1 Handful Arugula
1/2 tsp Basil, fresh or dried
1 1/4 oz Red onion

Baking & Spices
1 Pinch Pepper

Bread & Baked Goods
1 8-inch low carb flour tortilla, low carb

Dairy
2 tsp Cream cheese, low fat

via (22) Pinterest

Swoolz Modifications:

Add…

one to two tablespoons of fresh dill,

two or three teaspoons of creamed horse-radish

a tablespoon of lemon juice

to the cream cheese; substitute half the cream cheese for goat cheese.

Add…

salad greens

to the wrap.

SUPER tasty!

 

New Mexico Green Chile Breakfast Burritos

New Mexico Green Chile Breakfast Burritos

Recipe by: The Jazz Chef “Hatch green chile from New Mexico may be the most addictive substance on Earth. At the famed Chicago Dog in Santa Fe, New Mexico, they will line up in a blizzard to get their variation of this recipe. Dozens of local Santa Fe eateries, stands, gas stations and taco trucks make their own variation. This may be on the Heart Association hit list, but you will die with a smile on your face.”

Ingredients
40 m 6 servings 873 cals

1 clove garlic, minced 1 (8 ounce)

container frozen Hatch, New Mexico green chile peppers

1/2 cup chicken broth

12 strips bacon

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 tablespoon onion powder

salt and pepper to taste

6 (10 inch) flour tortillas

butter flavored cooking spray

12 extra large eggs, beaten

2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese 10 m
Cook

30 m
Ready In

40 m
Place the shredded potatoes in a bowl, cover with water, and set aside. Bring the onion, garlic, green chiles, and chicken broth to a boil in a saucepan over high heat.

Reduce the heat to low, and simmer until the sauce thickens; turn off the heat.

Meanwhile, place the strips of bacon on paper towels on a microwave-safe plate, and cook on High until crisp, about 1 minute per strip; set aside.

Heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat in a large skillet. Drain the potatoes, and add to the skillet. Spoon hot oil over the potatoes; sprinkle with the onion
powder, salt, and pepper. Flip the potatoes occasionally, but let them fry until crispy bits form and the potatoes are cooked through, about 15 minutes.

Place the tortillas between two damp paper towels. Microwave on High until warm, about 30 seconds.

Spray a separate skillet with butter flavored cooking spray and cook the eggs over medium heat, whisking them continuously until the eggs are completely set; turn off the heat.

Lay a tortilla flat in front of you. Place some potatoes, scrambled egg, and a strip of bacon on the lower third, leaving about an inch of room from the bottom, and about 1-1/2 inches on the left and right clear for folding the burrito. Spoon on a little of the green chile sauce, and sprinkle with Cheddar cheese.

Fold the left and right edges into the middle about 1-1/2 to 2 inches. Take the bottom edge closest to you with the stuffing and pick it up, pulling it OVER the filling, while keeping the sides in place until that edge now touches the tortilla about 7/8 of the way up to the top edge. Check to see that the sides are still tucked well. If they aren’t slide them in a bit now that you have the filling covered. Finish by tucking the bottom flap that you pulled over the filling UNDER the filling a bit to seal it, then continue rolling the burrito up to the top edge, forming a tight cylinder. Let it rest seam-side down, and it will stay nice and tight. Repeat with remaining ingredients.

Footnotes
Tip
Aluminum foil helps keep food moist, ensures it cooks evenly, keeps leftovers fresh, and makes clean-up easy.

via New Mexico Green Chile Breakfast Burritos Recipe – Allrecipes.com

Verdict: Not quite Santiago’s breakfast burritos; I think the secret is the green chili. Will work on this!

Gnocchi with White Beans Recipe | Taste of Home

GNOCCHI WITH WHITE BEANS RECIPE

Here’s one of those no-fuss gnocchi recipes you can toss together and cook in one skillet. Ideal for a busy weeknight, it’s also good with crumbled Italian chicken sausage if you need to please meat lovers. —Julianne Meyers, Hinesville, Georgia
Featured In: 27 Recipes for One-Pot Meals

MAKES:
6 servings
TOTAL TIME:
Prep/Total Time: 30 min.
RATE COMMENT SAVE PRINT
VERIFIED BY Taste of Home Test Kitchen
HEALTHY QUICK CONTEST WINNER

INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 package (16 ounces) potato gnocchi
1 can (15 ounces) cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) Italian diced tomatoes, undrained
1 package (6 ounces) fresh baby spinach
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
DIRECTIONS
In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion; cook and stir until tender. Add garlic; cook 1 minute longer. Add gnocchi; cook and stir 5-6 minutes or until golden brown. Stir in beans, tomatoes, spinach and pepper; heat through.
Sprinkle with cheeses; cover and remove from heat. Let stand 3-4 minutes or until cheese is melted. Yield: 6 servings.
Editor’s Note: Look for potato gnocchi in the pasta or frozen foods section.
Originally published as Gnocchi with White Beans in Healthy Cooking December/January 2011, p51
35 Red, White and Blue Desserts

NUTRITIONAL FACTS
1 cup: 307 calories, 6g fat (2g saturated fat), 13mg cholesterol, 789mg sodium, 50g carbohydrate (10g sugars, 6g fiber), 13g protein.

via Gnocchi with White Beans Recipe | Taste of Home

Verdict: Super tasty and filling! I might add a can of tomato paste or spicy rotel to give it a little extra kick. We used Goat Mozzarella to keep it a touch healthier. We also might use just pure goat cheese to give it a touch more flavor.

Here’s to the fools who dream.

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you  to achieve it.” – Paulo Coehlo

One year ago today, I received the email that irrevocably changed the course of my life:

“Hi Sarah, I work on the hiring team at Automattic, and would like to chat about your recent Happiness Engineer application.”

This was the moment I stopped wistfully making other plans, and began living, truly living, my life by my rules.

One year later, I find my heart overflowing with joy at the irreplaceable friendships I’ve forged since that afternoon and the myriad adventures I’ve embarked upon.

Piece by piece, I am reclaiming myself.

Here’s to making beautiful messes, taking risks, and charging boldly ahead.

“If you trust your rebel heart, ride it into battle–don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled.”

The chances we don’t take are the ones that haunt us at night; the risks we do bravely pursue keep us satisfied company in the dark hours of the morning, even when we fall flat on our faces.

Tomorrow begins day 366. Carpe diem.

My life. My path. My rules.

Here’s to year two.

Operation: Rise and Shine is A-Go

Pretty much everything I want out of life hinges on being an early riser.

If I want to exercise and take care of my health, it needs to be in the morning, or I’ll talk myself out of it (because deep-fried sushi and comfy blankets are LIFE).

If I want time to work on my writing, I need to get my shit done early to clear time for that.

If I’d like to ease into my day over a leisurely coffee and reading my work ’emails’ like I used to picture when I was slaving as a teacher, I need to get up earlier.

If I want some moments of absolute peace to myself in the quiet morning before the hustle and bustle and utter nonsense of the day… you get the picture.

I’m better at all of these things in the wee hours of the morning–that is, two and three a.m. when I am still awake from the day.

Alas and alack, I’m with a morning lark; he is so damned chipper every morning that I frequently have to stop myself from throttling him for his sunshiney disposition as the light through yonder window breaks.

Thus, today I begin my conversion to a tried and true morning person.

Things I have tried in the past:

-Setting my alarm clock not only across the room, but in the hallway. Outside my room. I’ll usually wake before it, climb out of bed, and shut it off. Then climb back in bed. I am THAT determined.

-Making a delicious breakfast the night before and thinking of it as I fall asleep. Come morning, what is hunger compared to the heroine that is the snooze button?

-Practice: I have literally practiced “getting up” to “create a routine” to make it “automatic” in the evening. Partner’s smug smirk didn’t sting so much as the fact I slept in the next morning. And the one after.

Others not out of the norm: setting my coffee maker to brew ASAP automatically, signing up for early morning exercise classes, setting multiple snooze alarms, promising myself breakfast burritos… It goes on and on. I hate mornings. Mornings hate me.

But no longer.

Today, I turned to Facebook. And now? I have an action plan.

Tomorrow morning, I have an alarm set for 5:00. I intend to be out of bed by 5:10.

The plan:

 

  1. Hydro Flask filled with coffee + soymilk. I will drink this at 5 a.m. in preparation for waking.
  2. Partner has agreed to turn on the light when he bounds out of bed; I have agreed not to punch, kick, and/or maim him in any way.
  3. Fuzzy bathrobe and slippers for the 5:10 alarm. Underneath: work-out clothes for Jazzercise
  4. Nice smelling lotions to apply as a reward.
  5. Back-up alarm on the landing. If I’m going to sleep in, I’m going to have to get out of bed for a few minutes AFTER drinking a boat-load of coffee.

Wish me luck. May the odds be ever in my favor.